I suffer from a mild case of SASUSS, Scott Adams Stir Up Shit Syndrome. The primary symptom of SASUSS is the inability to resist provoking knee jerk reactions in those less inclined to critical reasoning by making intentionally ambiguous remarks then sitting back and watching the fur fly.
I’ve been looking for some good medication. I wonder if Panexa would help me.
Here’s further proof that truth is stranger than fiction. Surely no one would make up the phrase, “A pack of angry Chihuahuas.”
Chihuahuas attack police officer
Fremont, Calif. – A pack of angry Chihuahuas attacked a police officer who was escorting a teenager home after a traffic stop, authorities said.The officer suffered minor injuries, including bites to his ankle, Detective Bill Veteran said.
The five Chihuahuas escaped from the 17-year-old boy’s home and rushed the officer in the doorway Thursday, authorities said. The teenager had been detained after the traffic incident.
The officer was treated at a hospital and returned to work less than two hours later.
NEW ELEMENT FOUND!
The recent hurricanes and skyrocketing oil and gasoline prices helped to prove the existence of a new element. In early October 2005, a major research institution announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named “Governmentium.”
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called ‘morons’ which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called ‘peons.’ Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Gv causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second!
Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay; but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming ‘isodopes.’ This characteristic of moron promotion leads most scientists to believe that Gv is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as ‘Critical Morass.’
When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes “Administratium’ (Am) – an element which radiates just as much energy as much energy as Gv, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Reprinted without permission from the Dec. 2 John Mauldin Weekly E-Letter.
From the Essentialist Glossary :
Unified Theory of Greed (UTG): The insight that we are all greedy SOBs, but the real SOB is the guy whose greed – whether for power, money, or love – is not held in check by his wife, the market, or the law.
